Welcome To The Bullpen
Bunkhouses, Cow Camps, and Other Institutions of Higher Learning
M. D. Massey
It was on a sunny Saturday when our son earned his degree
From a well known eastern college, in the state of Tennessee.
His Mom and I were very proud of this boy who’d earned his way.
He’d worked real hard, and punched his card, with his diploma that fine day.
We’d gone to the reception, for the grads and all their kin.
Enjoyed the fancy finger food, the bourbon, beer and gin.
We met our sons professors, his pals and lady friend,
Their names were real familiar, from the letters that he’d send.
I was feelin’ kinda out of place cause I darn sure couldn’t find,
Another soul in western hat, nor boots of any kind.
I had been seeing groups of men, shakin’ hands and slappin’ backs,
Sort a’ lookin’ my way and laughin’, at my pants my wife called slacks.
I’d said I was no slacker, she said “It’s not what that word means.”
I said it don’t matter anyhow, cause this hands wearin’ jeans.
I finally gave up arguin’, and agreed to let her win,
But I stuffed ‘em down my ‘ole boot tops, cause not to’d be a sin.
Then sure enough before too long, here them slickers came,
All liquored up and full a bull and lookin’ fer a game.
My wife said, “Take it easy, you know they’re huntin’ fun.”
I said, “They’ll dern sure fill their plates, cause it looks like ten on one.”
They walked up kinda sassy, like city slickers do,
Then one hank said we thought we’d come…. introduce ourselves to you.
He said his name was Winston, “That’s Todd, and Charles, and James,
That gentleman there’s T. Waldon, the third,” and went on with the names.
I told ’em “My name’s Michael, my wife there’s Sherry Lee,
We came to see our boy get honored, with his much hard earned degree.”
He raised his glass of whisky, and offered up a toast,
“To yours, and ours, and all the rest who give us cause to boast.”
He said that they were curious, about my style of dress,
The hat, the boots, and leather vest, silk rag, and all the rest.
I figger’d well now here it comes, their reason for this chat,
I may as well get on with it, cause this is where it’s at.
But it was his next statement, that caught me by surprise,
When he said that they were envious, and I could see it in his eyes.
He said that they were much impressed, and wished they had the sand,
To wear the clothes of Western folks, and work out on the land.
He said they all had money, big homes, and fancy cars,
Real important sounding jobs, and friends that some call stars.
They’d gone to private boarding schools, their privileges were much,
The best of education, from Harvard, Yale, and such.
He told of family fortunes, from coal, and oil, and steel,
Of railroad wealth and shipping, and underhanded deals.
And then he looked me in the eye, and asked of my degree,
About my education, my job and specialty.
It took me just a moment, to respond to his request,
And then I said “Now sit down there, and I’ll tell ya’ as I know best.”
“I hail from way out yonder.”, and pointed to the setting sun,
“From a place that we call God’s Country, just west of Cow Camp Run.”
“As far as making fortunes, I’m not sure what to say,
But I can tell you this, just being there, is worth a fortune everyday.
About my job and specialty, let me just go down the list,
There’s carpentry, plumbing, animal husbandry, grassland management,
labor management, equine management, animal health care and nutrition,
wildlife management, water control, product development, mechanical engineering,
public relations, forestry, and more I’m sure I’ve missed.”
“Now, about my education, where I’ve earned all my degrees?
It’s one of those things I thank the Good Lord for when I get down on my knees.
For I earn it each and every day, as the process never stops.
It comes from every colt I ride, and each calf that each cow drops.
It’s come from every cow camp, and each hallowed bunkhouse hall;
From every wise old cowboy, and each gather in the fall.
It’s come from watching sunsets, each mountain stream and tree;
From each inquiring grandchild’s mind, that crawls up on my knee.
From sitting around the campfires, with family and old friends,
Telling big ‘Ole windy-whoppers, we wished would never end.
From sitting with my wife and kids, at the ending of the day,
Gazing up at heaven’s blue-black dome, as the stars come out to play.
Well, I figured I’d covered everything, with my philosophy,
About higher education, and the earning of degrees.
When he said that he was sorry, but my Alma Mater he did not catch ,
I said I’d earned my doctorate, on the campus of the M bar S.
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