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Welcome To The Bullpen
Boys and Bulls
James J. Liles
For those of you who have ever raised kids I am real sure you’ll agree that the teen years can be more than a little trying. By the time their 15 or so they are convinced that there ain’t nothing that they can’t rope ride, brand, cut or otherwise abuse.
My 15 year old was at that point in life. Now you know it’s real hard to get work out of these kids until you mention saddling the horses and maybe catching some cows. In their mind this means they might get to rope somthin’. Now we all know this ain’t our plan but them kids got different ideas.
We were running a longhorn bull on a mixture of about 40 brangus cows and purebred longhorns in a 160 acre pasture. We needed to move the bull so we were just going to move them down the fence line into a catch pen down by the water tank.
Now we had one old longhorn cow that was more of a cross between white tail deer and an antelope with a little bit of Mexican fightin’ bull mixed in. She was none to partial to bein’ herded or caught or anything else. You can kind of see where this is goin’ by now can’t ya.
Well were doin’ pretty good and almost to the pens when this wild cow makes a run for it. There were four of us and I thought that would be enough and it probably would have been if it weren’t for Beula. They broke through that windrow of trees and off they went. Now my plan was to just let them go, slowly bring them around again and maybe cut that wild cow out before we got up to the pens.
Well my son didn’t see it that way I guess cause next thing I know he’s headed toward that bull at a high rate of speed and buildin’ a loop as he goes. Now keep in mind that boy was used to roping corientes, not 1700 pound bulls. I was screamin’ at the top of my lungs, “don’t rope the bull” when he cut loose with the nicest head loop he had ever thrown right around the horns. Now things start to get exciting about now because he thinks he will just duck off like he was handling a roping steer and as soon as he does that bull jerked that 1200 pound bay horse about four feet straight sideways.
By this time the saddle is pulled halfway off that horse and there ain’t no quit in neither one of them. That old bay horse had his neck stretched out and was diggin’ a hole and that boy was hangin’ off the side spurin’ with all he had. Just about the time I thought it was really goin’ to go to hell that rope went zing, takein’ rubber and all off the horn along with a whole bunch of hide off that boys hand. The bull he’s off at a gallup and goes right through the first fence he comes to and of course that bunch of idiot cows had to follow. It wouldn’t have been so bad but where they went through the fence was just across the road from this little airport.
Well about 2 ½ hours later we had them back in the pasture with just about 25 feet of fence to put back up. The bull well we let him settle for another week and the boy, well his hand heeled fine and the next time we went to gather cattle there was a long, long discussion on the ground rules before we ever left the house.
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REVIEW 1
While you have proved to me that you are a fine storyteller, your writing requires a lot more attention to the small details before it could be considered for publication.
This story contains 616 words, so it comes under the heading of flash fiction. There are a few places where a comma would help the readability.
I feel you could expand the story with additional details. For instance, near the end you mention an airport, giving your reader the knowledge that this is a modern day tale. Perhaps that fact should be near the beginning.
A few words regarding location should be added. As written this could be happening in Montana, Texas or overseas. Weather may influence the story so describe what is happening.
Dont give up, my friend, keep at it. You have the knowledge and the style. My critique is meant to help you, so please consider that fact.
Remember, this is only one old guys opinion, so heed it or disregard it as you like.
By the time their 15 or so they are convinced that there ain't nothing that they can't rope ride, brand, cut or otherwise abuse.
Typos
By the time they're fifteen or so they are convinced that there ain't nothing that they can't rope ride, brand, cut or otherwise abuse.
My 15 year old was at that point in life.
I prefer numbers written; eg 15 - fifteen
My fifteen year old was at that point in life.
You can kind of see where this is goin' by now can't ya.
Question.
You can kind of see where this is goin' by now can't ya?
Well were doin' pretty good
Typo insert we
Well we were doin' pretty good
was used to roping corientes,
typo corrientes
was used to roping corrientes,
hangin' off the side spurin' with all he had.
Typo spurrin'
hangin off the side spurrin' with all he had.
takein' rubber and all off the horn
Typo takein'
takin' rubber and all off the horn
Well about 2 ½ hours later we had them back in the pasture with just about 25 feet of fence to put back up.
Suggest writing the numbers.
Well about two-and-a-half hours later, we had them back in the pasture with just about twenty-five feet of fence to put back up.
L. Roger Quilter
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