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Cowboy Poetry
REPRODUCTION
Robert C. Atkin
Cattle breedin's a real science today
You gotta have good stock if you want it to pay
To be up on the latest was my ambition
I took a course to become an A.I. Technician
I didn't think it would do any harm
But it sure plays hell on a body's arm
Theory and practical I did pass
And finished it all at the top of my class
Then come the following week
The wife hollered out The white-faced heifer's in heat
This was the big chance I'd bin waitin' for
So I grabbed my equipment and flew out the door
Sure enough; the heifer's right ready to breed
We made sure we had all that we'd need
Got everything all cleaned; 'n' ready
Just take my time; go slow and steady
Everything was goin' real nice
Then; her muscles contracted on my arm like a vise
She gave a kick and a little buck
Came realization------My arm was stuck
Oh Lord I looked just a second too late
See the wife forgot to close the head-catch gate
Now that heifer runnin' with all the speed she could find
With little old me slip slidin' behind
It was miles before she slowed down
There we stood on the edge of town
Down Main street folks laughed with glee
Funny to them but humiliatin' to me
So a non-chalant message I tried to send
But you can't be casual with your arm in a cow's rearend
Right through town a sheepish grin on my face
After and interminal time we made it back to the place
Well so much for bein' an A.I. Technician
This little episode really curbed my ambition
It didn't do the heifer no harm
But now I have this SEVEN FOOT arm
And modern technology may be fine
But they can stick it where the sun don't shine
After bein' humiliated and feelin' like a jerk
Think I'll let the bull do his own dam work.
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