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Cowboy Poetry and Western Verse
Standifered Steer
Bukaru
His name was J W Standifer.
And he was a hand fer a guy up in Jasper;
Wyoming ya know, a little east of Idaho.
And ya ought'a take note all you slow cowpokes;
Cuz' he's known fer an unnatural disaster.
See, the boss sent the word down the line;
This roundup'ta treat fer the mange.
Now Jay lacked the lye but what he had in supply;
Was some barrels of kerosene.
And with this oil he'd douse the cattle fer louse;
And he'd brand 'em at the very same time.
They'd build the fire fer the brandin' iron;
And then wrangle 'em one at a time.
And here's where the mind of J W shines;
They'd brand 'em and douse 'em, in the corrals confines.
Now if yer faint of heart,, ya maybe ought'a skip this part;
And I shouldn't hav'ta tell ya why.
But it has to do with a barb-e-cue;
And it might make you wanna cry.
They had twenty head in the pen when they started;
And they got 'em all branded 'n doused 'n cas-trated.
Then a yearling broke free all soaked in kerosene;
And a livelier torch there has never been seen.
Now ya kin imagine the panic in the pen;
They're all buckin' an' a runnin' in all directions.
And the torch is passed from one to the next;
And buckin' 'n bawlin' they lit all the rest.
Now the moral of the stories pretty clear.
So if yer out fer barbecue and a beer;
And you and yer date, like a well cooked steak;
Then just order the Standifer'd steer!
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