Side Trail
OFF THE TRAIL
A Politically Correct Western Story
John Duncklee
Ezekial Fairday, foreperson of the Slash Exuberant Y Ranch, walked casually into the housing facility down by the structure built for retaining animals. The bovine persons were sitting around the table playing bridge. They looked up as Ezekial came through the door." Well, people," he said. "Tomorrow we start the autumnal gathering. We must arise earlier than usual in order to accomplish as much as possible. There is much to do because I have observed that we have a lot of young bovine to place the Slash Exuberant Y mark of ownership on."
One of the bovine people, dropped his cards on the table. "I am going to retire now, in order to be able to arise before the sun."
The others followed suit, and Ezekial left for the foreperson's dwelling.
It was still dark as the bovine people placed their equestrian equipment down on the backs of their respective equines. The wind began as they left the structure built for retaining animals. The bovine people pulled their one quart head apparel down to fit snugly. Two of the equine decided to frolic in the cold morning air, and the bovine people had some difficulty remaining in place on their equestrian equipment.
Soon they were spreading out in the southern sector of the Slash Exuberant Y landscape to look for bovine. Two bovine people from the neighboring One Fourth Circle Reverse T Ranch trotted their equine toward Ezekial. "Good morning, people," Ezekial said. "I am glad that you could join us."
"Our foreperson wishes to inform you that there may have been persons with warped intentions to expropriate bovine around lately," one of the One Fourth Circle Reverse T bovine people said. "Our foreperson saw the marks of equine without benefit of steel footgear along the perennial stream that drains the eastern alluvium."
"We'll see if there are any bovine missing when we finish the autmnal gathering ," Ezekial said.
By late morning the bovine had been gathered, and the bovine people began snaring the young bovine and trussing them for placing the marks of ownership. The masculine gonadal appendages were surgically removed from the young male bovine, diverting their minds from sexual activity to foraging on species from the family Gramineae(Grass).
The mid-day repast consisting of boiled legumes and roasted masculine gonadal appendages was served by the person in charge of culinary arts, a man of Hispanic descent, who had completed the curriculum at Cordillera Blue in Paris. When the bovine people had all been served, one of the bovine people from the One Fourth Circle Reverse T Ranch asked, "Does anyone have any Beige Poupón?"
"That condiment is not manufactured in New York City, New York, is it? Ezekial asked.
"It sounds as if it might be a product of Haiti where French is the predominant European linguistic effort," one of the bovine people named Jacob said.
The autumnal gathering continued for a week. The two bovine people from the One Fourth Circle Reverse T Ranch separated the few bovine with their ranch's mark of ownership identification that had mistakenly entered the landscape of the Slash Exuberant Y Ranch, and left for home. The following morning the bovine people from the Slash Exuberant Y led by the foreperson urged the bovine ready for marketing toward the railroad structures built to retain animals on the western side of the town of Grave Marker, where the confrontation at the All Right Structure Built For Retaining Animals had occurred in the days when people assigned to law and order enforcement and those with mal intent had fired their weaponry toward one another with dire consequences.
When the locomotive operating person braked the train to a stop the bovine people urged their charges into the waiting bovine cars for their excursion to the midwestern city known for violent wind conditions. With their duties completed, the bovine people, along with the foreperson, Ezekial headed their equine back to Grave Marker for a night of recreational activity at The House Of Jocularity, waltzing with the dancing persons, imbibing spirituous liquids, and playing Twist and Asiatic Checkers in "The Game Room". Some of the bovine people followed the dancing persons upstairs where pecuniary considerations were exchanged for other considerations.
Two weeks later three of the bovine people had to cease their efforts in attempting to discover the people with warped intentions to expropriate bovine in order to seek the curative powers of the nearest town's medical specialist in social maladies contracted from houses of jocularity.
Ezekial was disturbed at the forced interruption of the ranch activities. "This is a great amount of equine feces," he said. "How are we going to discover the persons with mal intentions to expropriate bovine if you bovine people are in Grave Marker seeking a cure for the results of your recreational evening after the autumnal gathering?"
"Don't preoccupy yourself employer," one of the bovine people said. "We'll be back in a day or so."
As it turned out, the bovine people from the Slash Exuberant Y Ranch didn't return as they had originally expected. The announcement by the person in charge of legal enforcement in Grave Marker that William The Juvenile had been observed on an equine near the railroad changed the plans they had formulated. After consulting with the medical specialist in social maladies the three Slash Exuberant Y bovine people joined the group of equestrians that went out into the area along the railroad in hopes of discovering the famous William The Juvenile.
The group found only the train stopped on the tracks. The Golden Late Limited had been robbed by William The Juvenile, and the passenger persons were lamenting the loss of their valuables when the group of equestrians from Grave Marker arrived.
The bovine people from the Slash Exuberant Y volunteered to attempt capture of the young villain, and when last observed they were heading in the direction of the rising moon, never to return again to the Slash Exuberant Y Ranch.
TERMINATE
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