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Short Stories & Tall Tales
Horse or Human
By Asher Ellis
The sting from a sharp slap to the horse’s haunches made the animal sprint even faster across the desert plain. Its broad hooves thundered against the hard clay ground as it sped along like a living locomotive. The beast didn’t know where it was going nor that it had become the latest prize of Sam Cornet, the self-proclaimed greatest horse thief in the West.
Cornet slowed the thoroughbred to a steady gallop. With the exception of his own enjoyment, there was no need to push the creature to its limitthe horse had been successfully taken three nights prior while the previous owner slept. It wouldn’t have been till the following morning that railroad tycoon Darren Treadwell would’ve noticed his best steed was missing. And by that time, Cornet was already long gone and taking pleasure in another successful getaway.
It was for this reason that Cornet decided to give into his curiosity when he noticed a wandering trader’s wagon parked in the shade of a lone Ponderosa Pine. As Cornet trotted his horse closer, he identified the stranger’s true occupation, revealed by his tall, black top hat and a banner that read “Murdoch’s Marvelous Miracles.”
A snake oil salesman.
“Well if it isn’t the luckiest man in all the West! Welcome to Mr. Murdoch’s wagon of wonders!”
Cornet pulled back on the reins and the horse came to a halt. “‘Luckiest’ you say? Okay, grifter, I’ll bite. What makes me so lucky today?”
The salesman bore all his teeth in an ear-to-ear grin. “Because you are my first customer of the day, which makes you the exclusive recipient of an incredible, one-time only offer!”
Cornet jumped off his ride and scanned the items displayed in the salesman’s cart. They were all the typical wares of the scam artist: phony miracle tonics, watered-down elixirs, and other supposed cures that probably did more harm than good. He did nothing to stifle a laugh as he said, “If your offer is as incredible as all these useless potions, you can save your breath while you still got it.”
Murdoch’s expression did not falter at all, as if he expected Cornet’s reaction all along. “Sir, you misunderstand me. These exotic concoctions are for special cases of certain ailments and illnesses. What I have for you, and only for you, is something that no man does not desire.”
The bandit spat on the ground. “I ain’t interested in riddles. Out with it.”
Mr. Murdoch licked the upper teeth of his smile that not once fallen from his face. “Money, of course. Lots and lots of money.”
Cornet released an exaggerated guffaw to mock the salesman’s ridiculous statement. What did he take him as? A desperate fool willing to believe anything? When he was finished making a spectacle of his laughter, he returned to the conversation. “I want to thank you, Mr. Murdoch. I haven’t had a hoot like that in quite some time. And I suppose you think I’d call five dollars a lot of money. Well take a look at what I’m riding and try again.”
Mr. Murdoch did not look in the direction of the horse. Instead, he calmly asked, “How about five hundred?”
Cornet’s breath caught in his throat sending a strand of saliva down the wrong pipe and into his lungs. Once a short bout of coughing had ceased, he was able to ask, “Did you say five hundred dollars?”
“Indeed I did,” the salesman replied. “And before you ask why I would reveal such information to a complete stranger such as yourself, I will add that only I know of its location, so killing me will get you nothing. However, by completing just one simple task, it can all be yours.”
“And what task would that be?”
Mr. Murdoch grinned, yet again. “You must kill, sir, a horse or a man.”
Cornet could only respond one word to such an odd request.
“What?”
“A horse or a man, the choice is yours. You must kill one or the other and then I will give you five hundred dollars.”
Cornet shook his head at this ridiculousness. “You’re trying to play me like a fiddle, aren’t you? What’s the scam here? What could you gain from this?”
Murdoch casually folded his arms and leaned against his wagon. “This is no scam, my good man. For me, it is simply entertainment. There is a significant lack of stimulus out here in the desert, is there not? And I am unmercifully out of control of my own compulsive tastes for the macabre. But if you wish to pass on this transaction, I will certainly understand.”
Cornet eyed the man up and down looking for signs of deception. He found none, though that probably only spoke of the high skill level of the man’s trade. Cornet still didn’t trust him, but the seed of intrigue had already been well planted in his mind. So he continued to inquire.
“Which man?”
“Let’s say the next man who comes along.”
Cornet turned to look back towards the trail from whence he came. The dusty path zigzagged around the bigger rocks and shrubbery until it completely disappeared into the horizon. Besides Cornet’s tracks, there were no other signs of travel.
Cornet turned back towards Murdoch. “It could take hours, maybe even days, for another traveler to wander up this trail.”
“Well of course there’s always option number one.”
“A horse?”
“Precisely.”
“Whose?”
The snake oil dealer gestured behind him. “I’m afraid it’d have to be yours. If you had yet to notice, I am without stallion or mare. I regret to say my nag was stolen last night as I slept.”
Cornet diverted his eyes away, pretending to further contemplate the stranger’s proposal. He did not want to arise any suspicion of his own profession, but could not help shooting a menacing glare when Murdoch added,
“There is no vermin less honorable than the cowardly horse thief. Wouldn’t you agree?”
The horse thief gritted his teeth and ignored the question. Turning to face the colt he had just acquired a mere three days ago, he muttered, “So I guess it’d have to be my horse.”
Cornet measured his situation. Five hundred dollars was a much larger amount of money he could ever hope to trade for this animal, no matter how high its quality or origin. And there’d always be more horses. But what if the stranger tried to cross him? Cornet supposed he could kill him just the same and travel on foot the distance that remained till the next town. It would be a horrible journey for sure, but he did have enough provisions and water to make it.
And it was five hundred dollars. How could he resist?
Finally, Cornet had come to his decision. “I’ll get my gun.”
The unmistakable sound of a spinning six-shot chamber whirred behind him. Cornet turned around to see Murdoch offering him a shimmering, silver revolver.
“Here,” the salesman said. “Use mine. That way you’ll know I’m unarmed and can’t try anything funny.”
Cornet reached out and grabbed the pistol’s ivory handle. He took a single breath, twirled around, and pressed the barrel to the horse’s temple.
“Sorry, old boy. Nothing personal.”
The shot boomed in the still silence of the desert. The horse never had time to make a sound before it slumped over on its side, stone dead. A brilliant red pool of blood began to form around its head, a radiant scarlet hue against the pale sandy ground.
For a brief moment, Cornet stared at the majestic dead creature, feeling the pangs of regret and remorse from taking something so beautiful of out this world. He swallowed hard, forcing the emotion away and spun to face his temporary employer. It was time to collect.
“Okay, Murdoch. Pay up. Let’s see it.”
Murdoch tilted his head to see behind Cornet. He smirked. “Here it comes now.”
Cornet simultaneously heard the rumbling in the distance and felt the vibrations in his feet. A man was approaching on horseback.
It was difficult at first to see through the haze and harsh sunlight beaming down from the high noon sky. The mysterious rider was only a wavy silhouettes in the distance, but as he drew closer, Cornet’s chest tightened with the vice grip of panic.
It was Darren Treadwell.
Cornet shot his eyes down towards his freshly dead horse. Without the charger’s superior speed, there was no way he could now outrun his pursuer. So he raised the pistol again, took aim at Treadwell’s chest, and pulled the trigger.
The pitiful click of an empty chamber was barely audible over the thundering hooves. The weapon was depleted of ammo.
“You only gave me one shot!” Cornet screamed at Murdoch who remained in his casual stance against the wagon and only shrugged his shoulders in response. Cornet took a step towards the man who had damned him but then remembered the rifle strapped to the side of his horse. A momentary rush of excitement rolled down Cornet’s spine like a tumbleweed.
And it was savagely crushed when he realized the rifle was buried under the immense weight of the horse, which had fallen on the side to which the weapon was strapped.
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Sam Cornet made it twenty paces before a bullet ripped through his left calf, sending him sprawling to the reddish soil. A moment later, Treadwell stood over him with Murdoch at his side.
As Cornet stared at a shiny, black scorpion crawling its way across the sandy expanse, he heard the two men speak.
“A job well done, Mr. Murdoch. I would’ve never caught up with this bastard while he still rode my best horse.”
“I am sorry about your horse, Mr. Treadwell.”
“That doesn’t matter. It was never about getting it back. As far as I’m concerned, the horse was ruined the moment this scum’s ass hit its saddle. So I still thank you.”
“I wouldn’t thank me, Mr. Treadwell. If he chose differently, it’d be you lying here instead.”
Treadwell chuckled. “You’re a sly son of a bitch, Mr. Murdoch. But at least you aren’t no horse thief. So here’s the reward, as promised. Five hundred dollars.”
“Oh no, sir. I can’t accept that. It belongs to our friend here. I owe him the money as promised.”
A foot slammed into Cornet’s side, kicking him over onto his back. He caught a glimpse of Treadwell’s face before he dropped a stack of bills into his eyes, turning all to darkness. Cornet inhaled through his nose, taking in the scent of the money, his final sensory experience. A second later, a bullet ripped through the pile of cash and into his skull, creating an explosion of red and green confetti.
Mr. Murdoch looked down at the mess of flesh and currency and smiled.
“Now that’s entertainment.”
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