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Beyond the Western
Leo the cat was relaxing on the lap of Rita, the person who lives with him. He was about to doze off when his leisure time was rudely interrupted by a knock at the door.
Rita got up and carried Leo with her as she went to see who it was. Before she could open the door, Leo caught a gimps of the visitor through the door’s glass.
“Oh no,” he thought. “It’s…the very large woman from down the street. I hate it when she comes here. I know she’s going to try to squeeze me. She does it every time.” Leo began to panic. “I need to get the hell out of here fast.”
Rita had a good grip on Leo when she opened the door. “Well hello Cloris. How are you today?”
“Why I’m just fine, thank you. I was wondering if… ooohh myyy goodness, is that Leo? Can I hold him. He’s so adorable. I wish he and my cat, Brutus got along better.”
“Fat chance in hell,” thought Leo.
Rita started to hand Leo to Cloris. “Good God in heaven. Don’t do it. Maybe if I go limp I can slide out of her arms?”
As Cloris grabbed Leo he hung from her hands like a limp dishrag. It didn’t matter. She pulled him close to her overly plump bosom and sucked his face in tight against her cleavage, kissing the top of his head. “I just love this cat.”
She stuck his nose right into some god awful smelling perfume. Leo couldn’t take it.
He sprang to life and sunk his claws into her chest as he pushed away. Cloris screamed and dropped him to the ground. Leo ran for his life. He scampered to the back of the house, went through the cat door and kept going to the field next door where he planned to hunker down under a bush.
His friend, Gunther, saw him streaking by, so he ran alongside him. “What’s up, Leo?” asked Gunther. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Worse. The large lady got her hands on me… again.”
“Ooo, that’s bad”
“That ain’t the half of it. I’m sure I scratched her trying to get away.”
“Oooh, that’s real bad. That woman lives with Brutus. When he finds out he’s going to be on the prowl for you.”
As they talked, they could see Cloris leave the house and head toward home. It only took a few minutes before they spotted Brutus heading their way. He didn’t look happy.
“Oh shit, here he comes,” remarked Leo.
“Don’t worry, Leo. I have your back.”
“Me too,” came a voice from behind. It was Cleo. “The large lady was bleeding and crying when she left the house. You got her good.”
“Maybe she’ll know better than to squeeze me next time,” replied Leo.
Brutus spotted Leo in the field and made a bee line for him. “I hear you clawed the woman that lives with me. I’m gonna rip you a new one just like you did her, only worse.”
Gunther and Cleo stepped up next to Leo. “You’re going to have to take on all three of us then you big bully,” replied Cleo.
Brutus analyzed the situation. Three against one. Those weren’t very good odds. Brutus decided to back down. “You ain’t getting off the hook forever, Leo. Watch your back ‘cuz I’ll be stalking you. You’ll be mine when you least expect it.”
Brutus sprayed the nearby bushes and walked off.
“Thanks guys. You two want to back me up when I go home,” asked Leo.
“No way buddy. You’re on your own with Rita.” Gunther and Cleo walked off leaving Leo alone under the bush.
Leo decided to postpone the inevitable. He spent the afternoon laying low and hunting for mice.
© Copyright 2019 by Scott A. Gese All Rights Reserved.